Denimbeard's Journal

Exerpts from my writen journal.

Month: June, 2016

Dec. 23rd, 2015

Suicide- School of Life YouTube

The effects of mental illness are so wide spread yet hidden in our culture. Looking at the struggles of the American lifestyle, The over worked and underfed, I can see why we prefer to hide these issues and discuss them as if they are nothing more then a rare instance. The fact of the matter is, there is a need for mental health regardless of your mental state of mind. The benefits of creating a proper, Inclusive and efficient mental health system in this country would slow down, If not ultimately preventing, crime, terror and other issues abound.

I often hear of the need for preventative measures when friends or family talk about the effect of suicide. Statements like, “How could we have known,” or “I wish I could do more,” The sad thing is I only hear these statements after the deed is done. What is stopping us from looking at the effects of mental health and its impact on families before it ruins lives? Why do we need to make charities and memorials in honor of what we could have done, Instead of what we prevented? It seems odd to me that we downplay the effects of a universal need too heavily.

This past year has been marked by nearly 400 mass shootings and for some reason we are unable to bring a spotlight to the mental health system. We need to begin looking as adults to see what changes can be made. Instead of hiding we need to find ways to draw attention, methods to actually help and create welcoming environments for people to discus and find solutions.




I was just reflecting on a part of this book where the author is describing how the end of the Scandinavian bronze age was a focal point for solidarity. The people had learned how to forge their own tools and resources without relying on outside trade for bronze. Iron as a technology had no glamor or status because it was honestly available to practically everyone. I see the internet and web content evolving in  the same way. As more and more advances are made, the internet, much like iron, becomes more of an ‘everyman’ type of tool. Strong, moldable, resilient, our version of iron can also have frail and brittle character as well. It took our smiths many years to refine iron into steel, and as such I see our current generation building that foundation now [crafting the internet into the next stage of use, as if to say we are paving the way for an internet revolution, similar to an industrial revolution.].

With every new advancement, there were always people sworn to the previous technologies. Nothing is adapted in full, instantly; but over many shades of grey.

Dec 20th, 2015

The Vikings, Neil Oliver

As the year comes to more of a close I have started to feel it’s effects. There has been much thought and wonder in my step, and I find myself often asking what my legacy will become. Will I ever be known for standing for something? I have recently joined Rotaract as a chartering member and hope that this might resolve some of this personal tension of mine. Yet I can’t help but feel as though there is more I can do. In the back of my mind I forge two basic Ideas. One of my Ideal home, and another of a community work space.

In my homes blueprints, I have no yard, only garden space. Rows of crops ranging from aisles of corn to rows of blueberry bushes. I imagine spending whole afternoons pruning and gathering various items. Pulling wayward weeds and flowers, feeding  birds or raising bees. My basement would have virtually nothing in it but storage spaces. Room to can, brew and freeze. Almost always the same temperature, and clean, welcoming workspaces. I want to remove a room from the second floor and have a huge lit space on the first floor. Nothing but entertaining space. Living and a kitchen, a den to enjoy a drink in. Upstairs designed like a master suite. It’s own bathroom and large bedroom with an accompanying library/office space.

Of course, I need a garage for shop space. I want a forge and wood stove. Space to build and tinker. To cure hides and cut wood. For tools and metal working. The community space I want to start should be like my home, but at a larger scale. I want it to teach people how to be self sustaining, to build and grow for themselves.



“One can respect such great renunciation on the part of men who suffer too much from the contrast between the unhappiness of all and the privileges sometimes associated with an artists lot, who reject the unbearable distance separating those whom poverty gags and those who’s vocation is rather to express themselves constantly,”

I attempted to write an essay on my unorthodox pagan beliefs and found it to be a rather slow and confusing mess. Apparently, my ideas are not very widely accepted. I feel an obligation to seek out more study sources and figure out exactly where my beliefs lay. I know this much, the Nordic faiths are where my tendencies lie, but my mentality seems to be vastly different from others. Why would gods care what race or sex someone is, so long as they work and provide? Why would a god waste their time investigating whom a follower loved? It’s more sense to believe that.

Astru over Odinism?

-[Odinism] apparently super racist!

These terms are problematic to say the least. Paganism seems to be difficult to narrow down well enough. I think some of my major issues stem from the fact that so many are willing to shun and hate the other. As if this spiritualism is something of a contest. That effort is wasted, these feelings of elite-ness are flawed on such a level that they should be considered the farthest thing from faith.

Paganism should be a welcoming, forgiving and guiding faith. One that welcomes all who dare to investigate it, and shun away no one. My faith in the gods tells me that everyone and everything has a story and a voice. We are nothing more then a collection of dust doing the best with what we have. I wish I could start a movement or shift in this mentality. Grow the strength of community and work. The ability to unite and change the places we live should be shared together in open peace. My experience with the pagan faith so far is that they can’t seem to focus on anything other them themselves.

I want to create a place where anyone is welcome to learn Old Ways. Forges, farming, brewing, etc. Teach us to live on our own, but support our families and communities all the same.